The AARP Guide to Sexting

1 The Announcer Who Died at the End of the Announcement 2 Happy One Year Anniversary to Us, and to Lisa and Greg Drucker of Wayne, New Jersey 3 Mime Riot 4 The Illiterate Merderer 5 The Postman Always Rings Ten Times. What's His Problem? 6 Dead Men Tell No Amusing Anecdotes 7 Siri Shows Her Boobs 8 A Man for All Flu Seasons 9 Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Lend Me Your DVDs of "Breaking Bad" Season 3 10 What Happens in Vegas is Typically Pretty Sad 11 Bye-Bye, Albino's Alibi 12 Indiana Jones and the Temple of Wait, This Isn't a Temple It's a Walmart! 13 The Bourne Ultimate Frisbee Tournament 14 What the Butler Smelled 15 Tell My Wife I Love Her, and Tell My Secret Wife I Love Her Even More 16 Armageddon Comes to Quiznos 17 Return to A-Hole Acres 18 It's a Wonderful Life Because of the Internet 19 Miracle Whip on 34th Street 20 The Island of Misfit Roys: Scheider Edition! 21 Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, but Only to Visit His Mistress Danielle 22 Happy Chanukah - I Mean, Hanukah - I Mean, Hanukkah 23 The Stockings Were Hung - To Send a Message to the Other Stockings 24 Christmas Eve Not Christmas Steve 25 May Old Acquaintances Be De-Friended 26 Out with the Old, in with the Hastily-Repainted Old 27 Manuary 5th - The Day of the Dude 28 Oh My God, Baby New Year Got Into the Medicine Cabinet! 29 Every Kiss Begins with Kay, But Everything Else Begins with K-Y 30 The Integrity Episode, Brought to you by Pall Mall Cigarettes 31 The Mime Whisperer 32 The Mayan "Dilbert Cartoon-A-Day" Calendar 33 The Guy Who Actually Went to the Gym he Joined on New Year's Day 34 Operation Orgy: Journey to Coitus Cove 35 This Episode Would Like you to Join its LinkedIn Network 36 The Formerly Lesbian Mad Scientist Who Really, Really Experimented in College 37 The Bourne Again Ultimatum 38 Mr. Gorbachev, Put Up Some Drapes! 39 We Need the Funk, If It's Not Too Much Trouble Would Like to Have That Funk. 40 A Watched Pot Never Boils, and Other Total Lies 41 The Man Who Got his Money's Worth at Starbucks 42 The Dr. Wizard of Dr. Oz 43 Double-Vision Theater Presents: The Lady With Incredible Ta-ta-ta-tas 44 The Lonely Scent of a Lean Cuisine 45 "High-Four Me!" Said the Woodshop Teacher 46 The Creature From the Recently Gentrified Lagoon 47 Cheap Applause From the Best Audience In the World 48 Mr. Peanut's Peanut Allergy 49 The Last-Minute Gift at CVS That Got Greg Laid 50 Luck be a Man Dressed as a Lady Tonight 51 Die Hard 5: Let's Not Die Quite So Hard, I've Got Chronic Back Pain 52 The 24th Annual NERF® Product Expo 53 Justice has a Middle Name and it's Eric 54 Annie, Get Your Glock 55 Death Wish 6: Natural Causes 56 The Douche Who Lost His Bag 57 Godzilla Vs. His Own Body Issues 58 If It Looks Like a Duck and Quacks Like a Duck, It's a Little Person Dressed as a Duck 59 Low-Brow OCD Theater Presents: Pull My Finger 40 Times 60 Virginia Is for Lovers, But So Is My Van 61 Bridesmaids Revisited 62 The Rendezvous With Destiny That Was Pushed Back to April 63 She Maces Me, She Maces Me Not 64 Honey, I Shrunk the Show 65 The Dark Knight Dies From Rubber Suit Induced Heat Exhaustion 66 El Episodio Con El Título Español 67 Godzilla Versus Robocalling Mothra 68 That Which Does Not Kill Me Makes Me Think I'm Doing This Suicide Thing Wrong 69 The Lonely Life of Albert Peniseyebrows 70 Early to Bed and Early to Rise Makes a Man Want a Better Shift at Denny's 71 Ding Dong! The Witch Is Selling Amway. 72 Lucy in the Sky With Amazingly Realistic Diamelles™ 73 The Member of Styx Who Got Laid More When he Stopped Saying he Was a Member of Styx 74 Fruit by the Foot, Regret by the Mile. 75 Flash Mob on the Bounty 76 Where in Carmen Sandiego Is Waldo? 77 How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Google the Ways. 78 The Bourne Thingamajigee 79 The Doomsday Device (Batteries Not Included) 80 Nine Hairy Guys in a Hot Tub Built for Five 81 Extremely Slow Murder on the Orient Local 82 I Believe the Children are our Future D-Bags 83 How Much for That Doggie on the Roof of your Car? 84 I Like Big Butts and I Can Still Lie 85 What are you Doing With My Freak On? 86 The Day the Earth Stood too Close to the Barbecue 87 Are All Guys Named Jared Kinda Dicky? 88 Table for Two, Said the Fatman 89 Anthony Michael Hall Kidnapped My Family. This Is Not a Show Title. I'm Begging You! Call the Police! 90 You're Gonna Get Your Ass Tapped in Prison, Charlie Brown 91 The Thingy of Finite Imagination 92 Episode 257: Literally 93 The Channing Tatum Ultimatum 94 This One has a Wardrobe Malfunction 95 The Little Engine That Could, But Held Out For More Money 96 The Girl Who Said, "It's Not You, It's Me" and Actually Meant It 97 The Boy with ADD Who... Is That a Butterfly? 98 My Eyes Are Up Here, ArchBishop Desmond Tutu! 99 E-vite to a Murder 100 And the Wind Cries, "Sausage" 101 The Devil in the White Suburb 102 The Gnocchi From Skokie That Sang Karaoke 103 The Day Lake Michigan Got Renamed What It Should've Been Called In The First Place - Lake Illinois! 104 Four Weddings, a Funeral, and a Bris 105 Descartes Presents: Dude, Why's My Car? 106 The Lion, the Witch, and Some Crap from the Container Store 107 A Buncha Crap We Came Up With This Afternoon 108 Godzilla vs. The Board of Education 109 The House of Usher, and the Cramped Studio Apartment of Sisqó 110 John Carter 2: Just Kidding, That Will Never Happen 111 Puss in Ugg Boots 112 Dracula Meets the Mummy, and the Two Hit It Off Swimmingly 113 Das Re-Boot: Revenge of the '80s Movie Reference 114 Martin Short Meets Justin Long 115 Slaughterdeath 4: Hurtfest in Scartown 116 The Quick Case of the Easily Solved Mystery 117 Mission Impossible 5: Flatulence Protocol 118 Are You There, God? It's Me, a Narcissistic Jerk Who Thinks He Can Talk to God 119 Something, Something Japanese 120 Jolt Cola Explosion at the Old Reference Factory 121 Fear and Loathing and Boredom in Albany 122 The Shark Who Took Small Bites and Chewed Carefully 123 Audit at Fiscal Point 124 Understatement in Hyperbole Town 125 The Little Engine That Could, But Chose Not to for Ethical Reasons 126 The Green Lantern 2: Just Kidding, That Won't Happen 127 Penny for Your Thoughts and a Dollar for Your Social Security Number 128 The Land That Time Totally Blanked On 129 Are You There God? It's Me, Murder 130 Retweet This Title and Get Big Savings on Your Next Purchase of Conan Cereal! 131 The Pimp with the Limp Who Loved to Eat Shrimp 132 The Improbable Rise of John Yeastlessbread 133 The Mayan Hunky Firefighter Calendar 134 Then the Clock Struck 12, 11 Central Time, 10 Mountain Time 135 The Murder of Steve Victim 136 The Surpirisingly Well-Adjusted Later Life of Honey Boo Boo 137 Green Eggs and Jon Hamm 138 One Hundred Years of Solitude (Thanks a Lot, Garlic) 139 The Incredible Stuff of Non-Specific Guy 140 Milk, Milk, Lemonade, Around the Corner Fudge Is Outsourced to India 141 The Boy Who Cried Wolf Blitzer 142 Scott Pilgrim vs. the World Wildlife Federation 143 Catcher in the Rye 2: The Catchening 144 The OCD Postman Always Rings Twice, Forty Times in a Row 145 Journey to the Return of Revenge Against the Fight 146 Beach Blanket Bunker: The Untold Story of Hitler and His Prize Surfboard 147 Butt Slayer 4: Rise of the Non-Butts 148 The Berenstain Bears Quietly Convert to Judaism 149 The Overpriced Organic Grapes of Wrath 150 License and Wegistwation, Said the Baby Cop 151 Never Bring a Knife to a Hot Dog Eating Contest 152 Love Potion Number MGD 64 153 Return and Return and Return to OCD Mountain 154 Fool Me Thrice, Shame on Amnesia 155 There's Something Suspicious About Professor Murder 156 Seth Swisher's Sushi Switcharoo 157 When a Pterodactyl Is in the Next Stall, the P Is Silent 158 A Man, a Tan, a Terrible Plan 159 Part Four 6: Part Twelve 160 Where There's Smoke, There's Gladys the Smoker 161 Dracula Meets Frankenstein, But Only for Coffee 162 The AARP Guide to Sexting